I miss reading for fun....I used to partake in guilty pleasure reading all the time. When I was little my mother used to scold me for staying up until the early hours of the morning reading books by my nightlight in my room, and then rushing to bed when I heard her coming down the hall, diving head first into my pillow, pretending to be asleep when she opened the door. Discovering, on a winding road in southwest Arkansas, that I could not read in cars without getting motion sickness was one of the worst realizations of my childhood.
I've been trying to pinpoint when I really stopped reading. I suppose it slumped in high school when I was gone on debate tournaments, band competitions, UIL competitions, or softball games or tournaments three out of four weekends of the month for four years. Then I get to college, demotivated and uninterested in pretty much anything besides being in College Station and at A&M, that reading anything pretty much takes a back burner to new found freedom to do, well, nothing. Then, when I declared a major in English Literature I was back to reading, and read a lot of really great books-classics I'd heard of my whole life but never took the time to read-and loved it. But it was still just for school, nothing really on my own. Even in the summers, especially with orientation, it was difficult to take the time to let myself escape to the pages of a book.
And I guess that's what it boils down to, letting myself escape. I place so many demands on my time. Many of them are for school, work, or studying, and they should be there. Some demands are social, which are important. But what about the demands I place on myself for me. My time. What do I do with that now? Sleep, watch the three TV shows I insist I stay on top of...and mostly waste away on social media. Facebook, the one of the best and worst parts of my social existence. I've been contemplating it shutting it down for weeks, and something hasn't let me do it yet. Admittedly, I have been reconnecting, and I'm really glad I didn't shut it down when I got back to Iowa like I thought I would or that wouldn't have happened, but still. I need my time to be more about things I want to do, not stalking the lives of people I really don't even talk to anymore.
That being said I read two books this weekend, finishing the Hunger Game trilogy. And loved every minute of it. Stayed in on a Friday, read most of the day on Saturday, stayed up nearly all night Saturday night, relaxing. Reading. Getting lost in a completely fictional world that is not my own. And it was wonderful.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
New Semester, New Opportunities, New Priorities
Well, really the title says it all. I was happy with the way my fall semester turned out. Yeah, there were things I could have done better, and things I probably should have done better, but I can't, and won't complain about how everything shook out. I was happy with my grades, relatively happy with all of my finished products, and quite glad I can mark my first semester of graduate school as a success.
However, that being said I know I've found some areas where I can, and should, improve.
For example, I know that I have a very different outlook on life than a lot of my classmates. Part of that is because of where I'm from, part of that is because I was brought up in the church, and part of that is, well, because I consider myself to be a libertarian-esc Reagan Conservative. I don't think any of my classmates can say that about themselves. Therefore, I know I bring a different perspective to the table, a perspective that should be heard more often. I want to make sure I am well read and well educated on the points we discuss in class. I kind of want to rustle some feathers and bring my perspective to the class room in a way that challenges my classmates to think about things in a different light. My goal for the semester is to do that at least once a week. It's certainly possible. I frequently raise my eyebrows three or four times a week, if for no other reason than a conclusion others come to is a complete 180 than the conclusion I come to. I want to find my voice and use it to challenge my classmates, and in turn myself. I think it will be fun!
I can't necessarily speak from experience, but I can guess that being conservative in a field such as student affairs can be extraordinarily challenging, depending on the functional area. I think it will help during my practicum as I work with Student Veterans. Not to say that all veterans are conservative, I know they are not. But many are. However, I feel like working at the Women's Resource and Action Center (WRAC) would be really difficult for me, not because it's a politically charged environment per say, but I know a lot of the extra issues they deal with are going to be influenced by a more liberal agenda. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I don't think it's an environment where I could be at my best.
I'm extremely pumped about my practicum. I still don't really know what it's going to look like, this office has never had a prac student from our program before so I'm blazing new trails, but I am extremely excited because this is an area where I can really see myself enjoying my work. I worry that I won't be able to completely connect with them. I'm not a veteran. No one is my family is a veteran. I have a cousin in the National Guard who is working towards active duty Army and dozens of friends who are active duty, many of whom I have regular contact with. I have done, and am doing, a lot of reading to educate myself as much as I can, but I often wonder if it's enough? I know for this semester it's perfectly adequate. But what about after graduation? What if I want to go into this functional area as a career? Is caring and academic research enough?
Academics, work, and practicum are coming first this semester. I allowed myself to get too distracted last semester with things that I had no control over yet took a lot of my focus. Obviously I got by just fine, but I'm not letting myself have those distractions this time. I'm flying solo and, have every capability of succeeding while flying solo. I have great friends I can lean on, a wonderful cohort, and a family who is supporting me in my endeavors. What more do I need right now? That being said I am striving for perfection. Not absolute perfection, but my personal definition of perfection. When I know I did my best. I know many of us have talked about having to sacrifice quality for quantity, and that's true. And sometimes it is important to say, "You know what? I'm finished with this," and walk away. But I did that prematurely too many times. I'm not doing that again.
This semester is about me. I'm working out (Insanity might kill me), I'm reading up, I'm doing my research to educate myself so I can articulate my own opinions better, I'm eating right, I'm working on my spiritual life, and, most importantly, I'm not looking back.
However, that being said I know I've found some areas where I can, and should, improve.
For example, I know that I have a very different outlook on life than a lot of my classmates. Part of that is because of where I'm from, part of that is because I was brought up in the church, and part of that is, well, because I consider myself to be a libertarian-esc Reagan Conservative. I don't think any of my classmates can say that about themselves. Therefore, I know I bring a different perspective to the table, a perspective that should be heard more often. I want to make sure I am well read and well educated on the points we discuss in class. I kind of want to rustle some feathers and bring my perspective to the class room in a way that challenges my classmates to think about things in a different light. My goal for the semester is to do that at least once a week. It's certainly possible. I frequently raise my eyebrows three or four times a week, if for no other reason than a conclusion others come to is a complete 180 than the conclusion I come to. I want to find my voice and use it to challenge my classmates, and in turn myself. I think it will be fun!
I can't necessarily speak from experience, but I can guess that being conservative in a field such as student affairs can be extraordinarily challenging, depending on the functional area. I think it will help during my practicum as I work with Student Veterans. Not to say that all veterans are conservative, I know they are not. But many are. However, I feel like working at the Women's Resource and Action Center (WRAC) would be really difficult for me, not because it's a politically charged environment per say, but I know a lot of the extra issues they deal with are going to be influenced by a more liberal agenda. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I don't think it's an environment where I could be at my best.
I'm extremely pumped about my practicum. I still don't really know what it's going to look like, this office has never had a prac student from our program before so I'm blazing new trails, but I am extremely excited because this is an area where I can really see myself enjoying my work. I worry that I won't be able to completely connect with them. I'm not a veteran. No one is my family is a veteran. I have a cousin in the National Guard who is working towards active duty Army and dozens of friends who are active duty, many of whom I have regular contact with. I have done, and am doing, a lot of reading to educate myself as much as I can, but I often wonder if it's enough? I know for this semester it's perfectly adequate. But what about after graduation? What if I want to go into this functional area as a career? Is caring and academic research enough?
Academics, work, and practicum are coming first this semester. I allowed myself to get too distracted last semester with things that I had no control over yet took a lot of my focus. Obviously I got by just fine, but I'm not letting myself have those distractions this time. I'm flying solo and, have every capability of succeeding while flying solo. I have great friends I can lean on, a wonderful cohort, and a family who is supporting me in my endeavors. What more do I need right now? That being said I am striving for perfection. Not absolute perfection, but my personal definition of perfection. When I know I did my best. I know many of us have talked about having to sacrifice quality for quantity, and that's true. And sometimes it is important to say, "You know what? I'm finished with this," and walk away. But I did that prematurely too many times. I'm not doing that again.
This semester is about me. I'm working out (Insanity might kill me), I'm reading up, I'm doing my research to educate myself so I can articulate my own opinions better, I'm eating right, I'm working on my spiritual life, and, most importantly, I'm not looking back.
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